As mediator, what to do when faced with No? Do you conclude the mediation at its utterance or do you welcome it as an invitation? Or perhaps that we are finally getting to the heart of the matter. For me, when folks say “no” it means that, I as mediator, must really get to work to help keep the process and discussion moving so that participants will stay engaged and be able to move from No to Yes if they so choose. It certainly does not occur as a clear, crisp switch; rather, the mediation process can allow participants to shift their thinking, to reconsider their positions and interests and to make decisions that they did not anticipate prior to the mediation process or even during earlier parts of the session.
Note that I am not imposing my decision about what “No” does or does not mean; rather, I just keep working the mediation process. These are times to listen hard, pay close attention to the feelings in the room and watch everyone like a hawk. All this information can help you as mediator help the folks trying to make choices about their dispute.
So, the next time someone says “no” in mediation, think of the Knights of Ni. And for those who do not recall – remember that the Python Knights went past by first bringing a shrubbery and then with the word “it!”